Our Next Chapter...

We are so happy to announce that Wyatt is going to be a big brother! I'm 3 months pregnant and couldn't be more excited! We've been talking to Wyatt about babies and he loves to point out a "beeby" anytime he sees one. I think he will be a wonderful big brother. We've gotten to see Baby in the very first sonogram and once again Chris and I felt that the best feeling in the world is seeing the tiny little heart beating away. We can hear the heartbeat at home on a little thing my sister gave us when I was pregnant with Wyatt. It's recorded on the machine so Wyatt goes and plays it and says "beeby." Sometimes I wonder what he's thinking. In other news (so I can look back at this and remember since that's what I've been doing to my "Wyatt" posts) I've been extremely tired, nauseous (I wasn't with Wyatt), and am getting headaches often (I had horrible migraines non-stop with Wyatt and these are not; I pray they don't get like that), but I am also so excited, know all this goes away, and couldn't be happier to know that there's a little baby growing and growing.

I also have some other big news to share. After much discussion, planning, praying, and talking to friends and family, we have decided that I'm going to stay home. It's a decision that has brought so many emotions. It's a scary time to make such a big change like this and we have felt that, but we feel that it's the best choice for our family at this time. We are excited to learn together, work together, and experience all the ups and downs that are sure to come our way together. I have taught for 5 years and loved nearly ;) every second of it. It truly is a passion and I've always felt so lucky to love my job and going to work each day. It also feels good to know that so many of the people I have worked with are my friends and I know I'll get to see them often. We have been so blessed with supportive family and friends that have encouraged us and talked with us so openly about their experiences, ideas, and thoughts. I'm so excited to begin this new journey. I've given myself the official title of CEO of the Jeans Household. Chris still isn't too sure about this.

Here are some random feelings we've had that I wanted to put on here so I can look back one day and remember how I felt.

-One of the very first things I did when we first started discussing this was talk to my dad. My dad put me through college and that is something I can't ever tell him enough how grateful I am for. I never had to worry about how I was going to go. He worked so hard and planned college for us and it was something he was always going to do, but I don't take any of it for granted. I remember always calling him to tell him my grades after each semester to let him know that I was doing my part, working hard, and it was so important to me that he knew I was grateful. Then I was honored to get my first job teaching because it truly was a dream come true. A dream that my dad's planning had helped me reach. So, I could write a book, but the point is I kinda felt like I needed to ask for permission to stop teaching for awhile. I was so relieved when he supported us and said that he wanted us to go to college, graduate, and be able to do what we wanted. If this was what I wanted, he was happy for us. I'm not sure if this is a normal feeling but I remember and it was a big deal for me so I want to remember it.

-My mom has also always been a number one supporter of anything we choose. She stayed home with me and my sister. It means so much to me that she supported me working and she supports me being home. I love that I can go to her when I'm scared and ask if I'm normal. I love knowing that when I feel like a not-good-enough working mom she reminds me I am and I love knowing that when I'll call her crying that I'm a not-good-enough stay at home mom she'll remind me I am.

-I know that Wyatt loves going to his school, seeing his friends and teachers, and learning so many new things. I'll miss picking him up and getting the biggest smile and fastest run to my arms everyday (it's a special smile and run!). I also know that we will make a new routine that Wyatt will love, I'll love teaching him new things, and we'll play with many friends at play dates.

-I've thought a lot about how lucky Chris and I are to both have jobs when there are so many people needing jobs and so many teachers worried about keeping their jobs. I've wondered what will happen with the economy. Is it the best time to make a choice like this? (I'm sure the answer is no.) We went back and forth so many times that I decided we needed to choose and then go "all in" and make it work. I really don't like changes (I think it's the not knowing part or maybe the decision part), so when I make them it's quick and then I'm focused on it and there's no turning back. If you know me well, you know not to change the plans once they are set in my mind because it completely freaks me out (yes, this includes small things that don't matter to most people).

-I also worry a lot about what other people will think. Last year, I decided to switch from teaching 6th grade to high school biology. Again, I made the decision and I wanted it to happen. I was so excited to get a HS biology job where I am now. I loved 6th grade, but I was ready for a change. The decision to stay home was never a thought. But then this year I got a feeling that I wanted to and we could make it work. (You've heard that part already.) Well, I was so afraid my department and principal would be upset that they hired me and after one year I left. Trust me, my team has put in a lot of time helping me (they are amazing and I've learned so much from them). I had hoped to make it up to them next year. :) Again, I'm surrounded by supportive people and so it wasn't an issue, just a worry of mine.